Just Grand.

I definitely feel the weirdness.  August is seemingly “just around the corner,” but I really don’t want to believe it.  Pregnancy so far has just been a trip.  The emotions, the rollercoaster, OY.  But I think the most amazing thing is thinking about my own parents:  What they did around the time I was born, their parenting skills (superb, by the way), and the fact that soon I get to call them “Grandpa and Grandma.”  Actually, I’ll be having Becky call my mother “Nonna,” which is for our Italian heritage.

I am an only child.  Being that Becky is my first child, I don’t believe she’ll be my only.  But I do think it a very touching thing that my parents are getting so involved.  As their first grandchild, Becky will have the fun of helping them get used to the idea, and get used to being called grandparents.

I can’t wait to see what the future will hold – nervous as I am, and with, hmm let’s see…  about eleven weeks or so to go?  Yipes!!!!

Name Game.

We’ve already fully named Becky, but her grandma Wesa (Cat, in Cherokee) has given her a Native name:  Walela.  It means hummingbird, and I’m already happy with it.  It’s very cute!

Forward, March. (Or August, Really.)

I’m desperately trying to stay away from any sort of negativity I possibly can.  It’s kinda hard, seeing as how life can be strange and difficult.  I’ve lost some friends whom I thought were worth the time I spent on them.  Instead, they screwed me and my dearest friends over and continue to do so.  And they, too, are expecting a child.  I sincerely hope, for their own good, that they come to realize their mistakes and begin to attempt a change for the better.  I hope that rather than being insensitive, selfish, infantile and rude, they can learn to be gracious, pleasant, giving and grown adults.  I’ve had the misfortune of seeing their behavior in many different situations, and while we can always hope for the best, I’m honestly prepared to see the worst.

And in so dealing with these people, I’ve come to realize something.  My daughter can sense negativity, and can sense things she does not like within these people and within those around her.  Thankfully, and I mean this with all my heart, my little family that I have adopted and come into my own around are some of the most giving and unselfish positive folks I’ve had the pleasantry of knowing.

But each time these selfish people come around, Becky kicks.  HARD.  She seems to know that they distress me in many ways, and she seems to understand what they really are.  I sometimes think that she knew before I did.  Even unborn, children have good sense.  Sometimes, you have to learn to listen to them.

But forward we go, anyway.  Time rampages on, even if we are not prepared to face it.  I’ve built a lot this past year, and I am not about to lose any of it.

Especially this child.

I’ve waited so long for her to come along, and I cannot wait to see her face-to-face.

Little Drummer Girl

Considering her parentage, I wouldn’t be surprised if my daughter turns out to be a musician.  The way she’s been moving around inside me reminds me of a punk musician playing the drums.  I tapped a little cadence on my stomach, and she tapped back!

Becky’s father used to play classical violin, and I played the flute.  We are both extremely musical people, and Becky responds to music as if she knows it by heart already.  Sometimes my heart sings when I’m listening to music – and she seems to dance to it, almost as if she were trying to say, “Mommy, I’m going to be a mover and a shaker, a dancer, an artiste!”

I can so believe it.

Practice makes perfect.

It seems strange to have to keep telling myself that I’ll be a mother in a short few months’ time.  Becky has been giving me all these subtle reminders – a tiny little kick, or just moving around in there.  But today, I have the honor to be the first person my niece’s mother leaves her with for more than a few hours at a time.  As I write this, she’s playing with her little stuffed frog – important because her nickname is Froggy.  She’s making cooing noises and smiling, and kicking out her legs.  She’s very happy because her Auntie (that’s me!) finally let her out of her carseat straps, and is allowing her to freelance move.

What an honor – That I am allowed to be in this child’s life and watch her grow.  She turns four months on the fourteenth of next month.  Her eyes are so blue, and her hair is blonde, and she smiles at you if you make faces at her.  She is a typical baby…  Growing at an alarming rate.  Just like my belly.

The greatest thing is that I get to practice.  Changing diapers, comforting her when she cries, preparing her bottles, and feeding her.  I also get to practice practical ways of carrying a carseat, and of holding her so that I can also prepare a bottle of formula at the same time.

I know that this could really never quite fully prepare me for Becky’s arrival.  I just know that it’s going to help.  I know I won’t be too shaky when I hold her, and I won’t have qualms about how hard to pat her back when she needs burped.  I’m still extremely nervous about Becky’s impending birth, but this way I at least can hone my skills.

Oooooh, Baby!

I am soon to be a new mommy.  I have a six-and-a-half-month basketball belly.  I am having a girl, due on August 30th.  On this blog, I will call her by her nickname – Becky.

She’s a furious kicker and I know she’ll be a daddy’s girl.

Becky will be my first.  I have the honor to be adopted auntie to a beautiful baby girl (almost 4 months).

I have many, many anxieties about being a brand new mom, but thanks to the guidance of my adopted sister, I will have all the practice and advice I need.  I’m already pretty darned good at changing a diaper.

This blog will chronicle Becky’s babyhood, and probably toddlerhood, and maybe the rest of her childhood, too.  I want her to be able to look at this blog and realize that we spent a lot of time preparing for her arrival, and loving her even though we hadn’t seen her yet.

Here’s to many happy returns!